I was alone in my room, staring at my computer, with exactly three uninterrupted hours before my husband and I would switch shifts and I would once again become responsible for a tiny human who believes sleep is a personal attack. This was my designated me time. I liked to start my day with some […]
Habit Tracking My Way to Enlightenment (Send Help) Read More »
Essay, Healing
With my head in my hands, I peeked through my fingers at my computer screen. At the white glare of the Word document, my eyes immediately snapped shut. An invisible band snaked its way around my chest, squeezing tighter and tighter. I leaned back in my chair and stretched my body. I needed air and
When Visibility Feels Dangerous Read More »
Essay, Healing
I don’t understand how I’m back here. Back with the family I walked away from. After all the pain, I know I swore never again. But this gathering hasn’t been the worst thing. I’m not alone. I have my husband by my side. Things are going smoothly enough, despite my cousin’s weird glares. Everyone
The Odd Dream That Wouldn’t Let Go Read More »
Essay, Healing
The warm scent of cinnamon and maple sausage wafted out of the conference room into my cubicle. Dishes full of French toast casseroles, sausage, bacon, muffins, and all kinds of other goodies bounced past my desk on the way toward their potluck destination. It was breakfast themed. My favorite. Why did it have to be
They Said, “Be Yourself,” So I Panicked Read More »
Essay, Transformation
I learned early that my existence was a problem. Delicious smells of grilled chicken and freshly baked bread filled my nostrils. I danced and wiggled in my seat. I was excited to be around my family and eat something that wasn’t a struggle meal. My mother’s eyes darkened with a subtle glare. “Stop it. You
Sorry for Existing (And Other Childhood Lessons) Read More »
Essay, Transformation
“Rub my head, I’m tired,” my boyfriend whined, laying his head on my shoulder. It was our third valentine’s day together and we were spending it in the emergency room. Strep throat wrecked me for the second time in six months. Every time I swallowed, it was like thick shards of glass were slicing down
Good Girls Give, and Give, and Give Some More Read More »
Essay, Transformation